Stay Positive!
I say this to myself everyday somewhere between my 2nd and 3rd cup of coffee. Brooklyn is kicking my ass. Seriously. Going to the grocery store can be an all afternoon affair. I won’t dare take the kids on the subway without Adam to help keep them in check. It’s super hard to make friends. NYC is very segregated. On TV it’s portrayed as a city bursting with culture that takes pride in their diversity. But in real life people tend to stick with others like them, whether by race or religion. Chances are slim that I will make any Muslim or Jewish friends. At least in my neighborhood, the moms won’t even talk to me at the playground. Really the worst part of Brooklyn is transportation related. Moving my car twice a week for street cleaning is a huge pain in my ass. You try to load two kids in winter clothing into the car just to drive around for 30 minutes and inevitably sit on the street in your car for another 30 min (add some crying by me and the kids).
I need to just wait until spring.
It will be easier to do things when it does not require layers of clothes. After all I do live walking distance to a fabulous park and pier with biking trails along the ocean. The park even has a splashpad for the boys and a skatepark for Adam. However, when Adam leaves for a week for work I find myself on the edge of a breakdown. This last work trip left me so exhausted I felt like I needed to check into a hospital. Migraines, no showers, no sleep, and little food. I was at my limit. Lucky for me I have a safety net, my mother. I can call her during any breakdown and she can talk me down. I don’t feel judged, I just feel cared for. Loved. Though about. And sometimes that’s exactly what I need. The next time he goes out of town I’ll have a better plan. I need to find someone who can spend a few days or nights with me. I just need a hand and a break every once in awhile. Doing all the meals, baths, cleaning, etc completely solo can feel like torture for a sleep deprived mama living off coffee.
I say this to myself everyday somewhere between my 2nd and 3rd cup of coffee. Brooklyn is kicking my ass. Seriously. Going to the grocery store can be an all afternoon affair. I won’t dare take the kids on the subway without Adam to help keep them in check. It’s super hard to make friends. NYC is very segregated. On TV it’s portrayed as a city bursting with culture that takes pride in their diversity. But in real life people tend to stick with others like them, whether by race or religion. Chances are slim that I will make any Muslim or Jewish friends. At least in my neighborhood, the moms won’t even talk to me at the playground. Really the worst part of Brooklyn is transportation related. Moving my car twice a week for street cleaning is a huge pain in my ass. You try to load two kids in winter clothing into the car just to drive around for 30 minutes and inevitably sit on the street in your car for another 30 min (add some crying by me and the kids).
I need to just wait until spring.
It will be easier to do things when it does not require layers of clothes. After all I do live walking distance to a fabulous park and pier with biking trails along the ocean. The park even has a splashpad for the boys and a skatepark for Adam. However, when Adam leaves for a week for work I find myself on the edge of a breakdown. This last work trip left me so exhausted I felt like I needed to check into a hospital. Migraines, no showers, no sleep, and little food. I was at my limit. Lucky for me I have a safety net, my mother. I can call her during any breakdown and she can talk me down. I don’t feel judged, I just feel cared for. Loved. Though about. And sometimes that’s exactly what I need. The next time he goes out of town I’ll have a better plan. I need to find someone who can spend a few days or nights with me. I just need a hand and a break every once in awhile. Doing all the meals, baths, cleaning, etc completely solo can feel like torture for a sleep deprived mama living off coffee.